Earl, one of our co-founders, has written a no-cost, step-by-step guide on understanding and starting your own group. Feel free to download it and share it with others.
Here's an excerpt:
The need for the mutual support of our physical, mental and spiritual health has never been more keen. We live in a culture that is repressive of being who we really are.
A top executive at Revlon once said, “My job is to make women not happy with how they look.” Image is everything. For men, the culture values individualism; being strong, tough, unfeeling, sexual, always positive and being “right.” These cultural traits are so pervasive they’re called “normal” – “the American way,” and very few question them. Some, though, are aware of their dilemma and want to change.
Our purpose together is to make positive change within
ourselves and our relationships—to rediscover and live who we
really are.
Here's an excerpt:
The need for the mutual support of our physical, mental and spiritual health has never been more keen. We live in a culture that is repressive of being who we really are.
A top executive at Revlon once said, “My job is to make women not happy with how they look.” Image is everything. For men, the culture values individualism; being strong, tough, unfeeling, sexual, always positive and being “right.” These cultural traits are so pervasive they’re called “normal” – “the American way,” and very few question them. Some, though, are aware of their dilemma and want to change.
Our purpose together is to make positive change within
ourselves and our relationships—to rediscover and live who we
really are.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who attends the group?
The men who attend the Southside Men's Group represent a diversity of ages, backgrounds and experiences. Some men have been attending for over 30 years; some are just beginning. They are all bound by a commitment to personal growth and a belief in the value and power of a supportive community.
Since you started, how many men have been helped by your group?
We estimate well over 350
How many attend each week?
Between 8-36 men
Why are you called "Southside Men's Group"?
The original Earnie Larsen men's group met in the northern part of the Twin Cities.
Our spin-off Southside group, marked in red, meets south of the original group.
Our spin-off Southside group, marked in red, meets south of the original group.
Is this a Faith-based meeting?
No. We accept and embrace men of all faiths and beliefs. As a member's faith, beliefs, and actions are often inseparable from their personal journey, they are often a part of their talks or discussions. One member who also attends a church group explained, "there is only so much one can share in a church group".
Is it a networking meeting?
No. While many members become social or business friends/associates, the goal of meetings is attending to each man’s personal growth
Does it cost anything?
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Newcomers pay nothing.
For ongoing members, there is a $7 voluntary donation to cover the room, coffee, and doughnuts. No one is turned-away for a lack of funds. |
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Are meetings full of men complaining about their wives, bosses, and families?
Not at all. The group’s commitment is to personal growth through positive change. Stephen Covey, an author whose work has been influential to many in our group reminds us: Instead of reacting to or worrying about external conditions (over which we have little or no control), focus our time and energy on the things we can control -- us.
What brings men to the group (as answered by current members)?
- "I really hadn't devoted much time to personal growth though my wife had, and a gap was growing."
- "I did not want my children to inherit a legacy of anger. So, I participated in a men's therapy group for two years. After which, I looked into the Southside Men's Group to continue my work."
- "I was referred by Earnie Larsen, famous for saying 'If nothing changes, nothing changes,' -- and I wanted to change."
- "Each time I go I hear about experiences that are similar to mine."
- A good practice is just showing up. Showing up on the days that you want to and on the days that you don't."
How might attending effect on your life? (as answered by current members)?
- "It keeps me growing towards taking care of myself and loving myself."
- "I have changed my life by understanding more about my actions."
- "By listening without judging, men at these meetings have allowed me to learn about myself, to trust others and to express my feelings. Through this process of discovery, I have built confidence and acceptance of who I am, right now. Learning to listen without judging, has helped me to build a rapport and trust with other people in my life."
- "My perseverance is strengthened."
- "Yes, it has made me grow up."
- "Here I have men friends beyond the scope of sports and jokes."
- "It is part of my weekend ritual when I am in the Twin Cities."
How would you describe this group? (as answered by current members)?
Should I show up early?
Yes. The room opens at 8:15am; showing up early allows us to greet you and field and questions you have prior to the start of the meeting.
Who can I call with questions?
For reasons of anonymity and the fact that we have no 'office', we invite you to use the contact page to email us your questions or request a return phone call
I work in the judicial system. Would this be a good followup program for offenders?
While our group is non-professional, it is an excellent resource for anyone instituting change in their lives. The positive male role models here answer questions and listen in a non judgemental fashion. The safe environment allows attendees to verbalized their thoughts -- sometimes for the first time-- thereby getting them out of their head, for closer examination. It is also a place to practice new skills prior to bringing them to home or the workplace.
"FaceBook users can sometimes boast hundreds of 'friends',
when what we really need in life are just one or two real friends"
when what we really need in life are just one or two real friends"
